finally finals...

...and I'm dreading it. With borderline grades in Honors English and A.P. Chemistry, I need to get Bs on both finals, maybe even an A in Honors English. So, this weekend (and this week) will be dedicated to studying. Starting Monday, my goal is to not go on aim unless absolutely necessary to ask someone about homework or something.

Looking back on the past few years, it looks as if my life has a pattern to it. Let's start with...9th grade.

Freshmen Year: Good grades because it was so easy, and I was practically carefree. I went home everyday after school or after volleyball or softball and just did all my homework and studied hard for all of my tests.

Sophomore Year: Harder classes... Overall, it was a good year though. It brought new experiences such as marching band, and it let me meet a bunch of new people.

Junior Year: Hard classes again. And now I'm stressing over SATs and AP tests.

Ms. Conradson said something about all of this stress today when we were talking about Thoreau's Walden. These days, we don't spend enough times for ourselves. We stress over little things. And honestly, the only time I have to myself (like completely to myself, thinking about my own thoughts) is when I'm either in the shower and sometimes when I'm just about to fall asleep (I share a room, so it's not always perfectly quiet when I'm trying to sleep). These times are when my thoughts appear the most, and I think it's because I'm all alone. She asked us when was the last time you were out for a walk without your iPod. And as I thought about this, I haven't been out for a walk in a long time. And I don't even remember a time I was out for a walk by myself just for fun. I went jogging a couple of times, and biking too, but it's slightly different in my opinion.

So, I will go for a walk tomorrow.

peter answers

Peter Answers. A site that answers whatever question you ask it. We played it at Axell's Birthday party today, and it got pretty creepy. And the whole time I knew it was fake, but I couldn't help but scream when surprisingly real answers were popping up. Simply type: "Peter, please answer:" and it would answer your question...if you knew how to do it. It was one of those games that astonished you like Black Magic. It only worked for Erik (because he knew how to do it). Everyone got creeped out and we did that for hours :]

I have to start on my homework soon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not. Today, I just watched Avatar in 3D. It was really good, but the first show we went to was canceled due to technical difficulties. So, we got free tickets to go see another show some other day, and then we had to wait until the next showing. Let me just say, my family is annoying. So annoying that I didn't even sit directly next to them in the theater (I sat a few seats away). Sighhhhh, oh well...

officially a gleek

Slightly ashamed, but I am officially a gleek. I can't get the songs out of my head. Glee is strangely addicting and surprisingly catchy :)

a spontaneous decision

Wow Wilson, you switched to tumblr! Tsk tsk. Whatever happened to "I think blogger is easier to use," and "Tumblr's confusing." Well, I'll stay on blogspot for a little while longer :)

Haven't blogged in a looong time...Oh well. More to talk about?

I'm in Lake Tahoe right now. And I just found out we were coming here yesterday when my mom told me got bonus time at our timeshare place. I kind of have my own room! My sister, Katie, is staying with her friend Melissa for 2 days because she doesn't want to miss her other friend's birthday party. And my other sister, Jenna, is probably going to hang out with her friend that is staying at this timeshare (Edgelake) as well. As for my brother, he's a boy...so we can just take turns sleeping on the couch (or I can just have this room to myself for 2 nights!)

Tomorrow I'm going skiing, yay! I miss the snow, but at least I get to see it at least once every year. And I get to go skiing at least once every year too. That's probably one of my favorite parts about Lake Tahoe. I really hope it snows while we're here. Sometimes, if it snows a lot, I make an igloo, and usually it turns out pretty cool. You can actually go inside of it and sit in there. Takes a long time to make, but afterwards, it's totally worth it :P Good thing I'm only staying here for 2 days because otherwise I wouldn't get to see you! Have to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday when I get back though :[

Happy that it's break, but I have a feeling that it's going to go by super fast.

gobble gobble

Thanksgiving tomorrow? I guess so. My mom came home with a ton of groceries; it looks like we're going to be eating a lot. Not sure if I have to stay home the whole day tomorrow or not, hopefully not, the kitchen can get hectic. I wonder how many other families actually sit down around the table and eat dinner together, besides on Thanksgiving.

The Union came out today! It's so cool seeing all of the work that you put into the paper and then actually seeing it come out on paper. I need more story ideas... got any?

This weekend seems a little busier than usual.
Thursday - Thanksgiving
Friday - Black Friday, but I'm not celebrating that haha. I need to go get the American Apparel Jackets from someone's house! They came in FINALLY!! :D
Saturday - Dee's Party or Smash City in the morning? Jack Emery Flyer Distribution for Key Club @ 1 PM - 4 PM. (Anyone can come, just meet at MHS' basketball courts)
Sunday - Milpitas Tree Lighting Ceremony Set up from 10 AM - 5 PM. After 5 PM, cram for my Chem. test D:
Monday - Chem. test, Milpitas Tree Lighting Ceremony from 5: 30 PM - 9:45 PM, and find out what's in the mysterious box, lol.

because you said so

Let's start with Friday.

After school, I went to Albert's house with Allyson and made cookies. THOSE COOKIES TURNED OUT HORRIBLE! It was pretty funny watching them turn out so bad. I swear that I have never made cookies as bad as those in my entire life. I don't know exactly what it was, but for some reason, they were really bad. Oh well, it provided us with some laughs.

On Saturday, it was time to get up and go to the high school for the Folsom Marching Band Competition. We practiced and then hung out at school for awhile playing Kokology, a bunch of quizzes that analyze yourself. Some of the quizzes were right, and some of them were way off. After this, we loaded the buses and headed to Folsom. The bus ride didn't seem that long. We were watching 17 again, and Perry totally got really into the movie. Albert dreaded it because it had Zac Efron in it, the star in High School Musical. "We're all in this together," right Albert? XD Anyways, the movie made the ride seem to go a lot faster. We watched Ratatouille after that...which reminds me.. I want to download that song from the movie. Send it to me :) We were pretty rushed when we got of the bus, and a few people weren't even at the competition yet. Overall, our performance went well. We made it into finals (barely) and then performed again. We got 10/10 again...sigh. Eager to hear what the judges said. On the way back, I was pretty tired and tried to sleep the whole way.

This morning, I woke up with a sore back, probably of Sarah hitting me (her way of massaging). I woke up at 10 and ate breakfast/ brunch and then headed over to Sarah's house around 2ish to play basketball. I think I'm pretty bad at basketball and it's not the greatest sport in the world, but I think it was fun. We tried shooting from half court and although no one made it in, I got kind of close and I made two 3 pointers (one of them my first try!) Once I get going on something, it seems like I can't stop. I played the whole time, even when Sarah and Anh took breaks.

We went to Tee's house and played with her adorable puppies. They were really cute and soft, but they peed everywhere. Sarah stepped in poop too... She cleaned her shoes and then biked back to her house. Her brother drove us to get milk tea and we saw Sarah and Anh's friend, Steven working at Sheng Kee bakery. Talked with him for a few minutes, arguing which kind of cake was better (mango mousse vs. German chocolate). I voted for the mango mousse, that cake is gooood :D

you don't really know me

I can't seem to let it out. All of the things that I've had on my mind lately, I don't tell them. But now they're digging into me, and lately, I've been thinking of things all of the time. Should I tell this? Even my blog isn't safe. I don't publish these kinds of things here. I keep them in my head.

Yes, I'm so cheerful everyday you see me. I smile at you politely, and I laugh at your jokes. I listen to you; I talk to you. No one knows the problems that I have. And I cannot tell anyone. I don't think it's trust issues, but then again, I wouldn't know. I fully trust only a few people (not even my own mother). I just can't find myself to tell anyone anything. I guess it's because if I don't tell anyone, then they won't tell anyone either. I don't want people to know my weak spots. All of the pressure that I feel that's on me, from parents and from friends. It's dragging me down, but somehow I always manage to overcome it.

But now it's building up inside of me with almost no possibility for escape. I want to scream for help, but who should I turn to? No one will understand.

When you see me tomorrow, I'll look happy for you, like I do everyday. You will never know this side of me because you have never seen it. I don't always seem to know the reason, but for now.. I will smile for you tomorrow.